Suicide and Children

Suicide has become much more common in children than it used to be. For children under age 15, about 1-2 out of every 100,000 children will commit suicide. For those 15-19, about 11 out of 100,000 will commit suicide. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children ages 10-14 and the third leading cause of death for teenagers 15-19. Recent evidence suggests it is the lack of substance abuse, guns, and relationship problems in younger children which accounts for the lower suicide rates in this group.

The main way children kill themselves depends on what lethal means are available and their age. In countries where guns are readily available, such as the USA, that is the usual cause of suicide. Other causes are strangling and poisoning.

Suicide attempts that do not result in death are more common. In any one year, 2-6% of children will try to kill themselves. About 1% of children who try to kill themselves actually die of suicide on the first attempt. On the other hand, of those who have tried to kill themselves repeatedly, 4% succeed. About 15-50% of children who are attempting suicide have tried it before. That means that for every 300 suicide attempts, there is one completed suicide.

Suicide is caused by pressure created by parents and teachers. The education system forces completion, mostly unhealthy competition. This has a bad effect on the young minds. They have the urge to be the best among their social groups. The teachers on top of that are more concerned with their school average than the strengths of individual students. This is due to the profit orientation of the education sector. Every school wants their students to perform better than the others which will support their higher fee structure.

It gets even worse when the parents join in the party. Every parent wants their child to be on top. My question is, ”How can every child be on top? There has to be some difference between them. If parents so old and mature can’t accept this fact, how can a young and immature child accept your desire for them to be on top when they don’t know why? Parents should make their children understand why studies are important rather than ask them to get good marks. Mark my words – This will without doubt improve their performance. Parents pressurize the children only because they want their children to be successful but in the process, they sometimes lose their children.

I feel that for any parent, a live unsuccessful child is better than a successful dead child. The child might also end up depressed, physically alive and mentally and emotionally dead.

What better example do we have for this than the Bollywood movie Taare Zameen Par?


Students should be Basket Balls!

When I was a student, nobody told me how I should be or the desirable qualities of an ideal student. I wish somebody had told me or even better taught me. I would have learnt much more if I had known. So today I don’t want to deprive other students of this opportunity of learning how to learn.
Let me use the metaphor of basket ball to make my message clear – A basket ball (student) is pushed down (scolded) for it to bounce back into the hands of the player (teacher) so that he can shoot the ball into the basket (goal). If the basket ball doesn’t bounce back into the hands of the player, is there a way for the ball to get to the basket?
Choose your teacher wisely but once you have chosen your teacher, trust him/her completely and come back to him/her because your teacher is the happiest person if you are successful.
One more important thing about being a basketball is that the basketball after reaching the basket comes back down. It is modest and this gives it a chance to be shot at the basket again (to reach another goal). So students after becoming successful should not forget their teachers and stay up there. They should come back to their teachers so that they can be shot for another basket.

The Human Personality- (What are you?)

A few months ago, I met a Guruji(Priest of a temple) with whom I got a chance to have a conversation. I asked him that there is a lot of buzz around in recent time about spirituality, and so I want to know what exactly Spirituality is. He said he would answer it but he first wanted to ask me a few questions. The conversation went like this –

Guruji – Who are you?

I – I am Amruth.

Guruji – That is your name. Who are you?

I – Well I am a human being.

Guruji – That is your species. Who are you?

I was dumbstruck and a little annoyed. But I continued trying.

I – I am a soul. Is that the answer you are looking for?

Guruji – Everyone is a soul. What makes you who you are?

I – ??? *** ???

Guruji – Never mind. Very few people know the answer to this. Wonder, ponder and search     for the answer and you will find it one day.

Yesterday night, I couldn’t sleep and I kept thinking about it. I remembered what I had heard many years ago when I was young. It was gibberish to me then. Now it makes sense. I do not know where I heard it but it goes like this –

There are 5 stages of personality –

  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Intellectual
  • Emotional
  • Spiritual

In the same order.

Mastering your personality – mastering all stages of your personality is a difficult task. Just take it one at a time. Again follow the order. Physical – Mental – Intellectual – Emotional – Spiritual.

Physical Personality – Your looks. If you are still bothered about how you look, you haven’t mastered your physical personality. Just don’t bother about how you look but be aware of it. Don’t mistake me and go improperly dressed for a party or an interview. You might lose respect. What I am saying is that you have to be conscious of how you look but don’t let it bother you. I learnt in my Alma Mater that the best way to master your physical personality is to wear your clothes inside out for a whole week. In that way, you lose botheration about how you look. Don’t do it forever but until your looks no longer bother you. Most importantly, you should not bother about how others look. Don’t judge people based on their looks. What you have to look into is their entire personality. I will get to that later.

Mental Personality – Your mental personality consists of your train of thoughts. If you breed only good thoughts, you have mastered your mental personality. This is a little more difficult than mastering the physical personality. The thought process is spontaneous and has to be mastered over a period of time. Just your will to think only of good things will not flush all the bad thoughts out of your mind. A deeper expression of this is given in another post – 1 word; 2 thoughts. Practice makes you perfect and you need to practise to train your mind to think well.

Intellectual Personality – Few people know the difference between Mental and Intellectual. Mental personality consists of your thought process and your intellect consists of your decision making process. If you are able to make the right decisions, you are intellectually matured. It can be achieved with effort and by spending time to think before you decide.

Emotional Personality – The word is self explanatory. In order to master your emotional personality, you have to face a lot of downfalls is life because you have mastered this personality only when – What disturbed you once doesn’t disturb you now.

Spiritual Personality – The spirit is your inner self. Realizing it is realizing your spiritual personality. It is commonly known as self realization. The moment when you are free from all the other personalities is when you realize your spiritual personality. No consciousness of your body, no thoughts, no decisions and no emotions. It is the apex of your personality.

2 people may look alike, they may think alike, they may take the same decisions, they may get emotional for the same stimuli and a pregnant woman and the child within together are said to have 1 soul. But no 2 people have the same total personality( all 5 stages of personality are not the same for any 2 people). So finally I can sum up by saying that I am a personality, a unique personality. Every person has a unique personality and that is what we are.

1 Word; 2 Thoughts

Every word has 2 meanings. You have got to choose the right one. Every stimulus has 2 possible responses. Everything said or heard can be interpreted in 2 ways. Every now and then, we face choices. More often than not, we choose the wrong one.

I am beginning to wonder if human brain is truly the most evolved. If it is, then why should only negative thoughts be bred in our brains? Why isn’t there a way to only breed nice good thoughts in our brain? As I have observed, there are very few people who breed only positive thoughts in their brain. Their brains are like lush green farms with very few weeds. The other people have got to de-weed their brains. That includes me too. The fact that I am writing this doesn’t mean that my farm is free of weeds. My farm has a lot of weeds and I was unaware of it. Now that I have realised it, I have started putting efforts towards de-weed my farm.

De-weeding is an easy process but making sure that no more weeds grow is a very very difficult task. It needs a lot of resilience, will-power and conscious continuous effort. Even with the greatest effort, the results are not spontaneous. It needs a lot of time. Like I said, its like growing a farm. The seeds take time to grow into plants. Now let me stop using the Metaphor. Else we will become good farmers but remain bad thinkers.

PLAYING A GAME can mean different things – Having fun or cheating someone.

OBSERVE A PERSON can mean different things – Learning from them or checking them out.

Take any phrase and you can dissect it. 2 meanings are what you get. Try it as an exercise. If you don’t have time, just believe me, I have tried it several times. Every time, the same result. 2 meanings. Once you have tried it and understood the concept of 1 WORD; 2 THOUGHTS, try to make it your will-power drive. Try to take the good meaning of everything for 1 whole week. See the difference.

I would like to share a story here –

A rich father takes his son to a village to show him what poverty is. They stay in the village for a few days and after their return, the father asks his son about what he learnt and the young boy says –         We have 1 dog, they have 4.

We have a swimming pool, they have a long river.

We have a small piece of land, they have large fields.

We have a house to protect us, they have friends.

We have lamps, they have stars.

We buy our food, they grow their own.

What a great thought by the young boy. He has seen the true wealth of the village dwellers which the father failed to see. The boy was able to see the good side of the village life. His thought process was correct and healthy. Most of us are the father. The quicker we change our path, the better it is for us. It’s not easy. It needs a lot of will-power and resilience. So gear up for it before you begin. Otherwise you will give up half-way.

One other thing I learnt in my Alma Mater is that for any stimuli, we can either react or respond. The good thing is to respond, the bad thing is to react.

Be selfless, Earn a shoe; Be selfish, Earn a hat

Out of the many lessons life has taught me, I think this one applies the most. Learned people and elders tell us that we have to be good to everyone. The lesson my granny taught me is – “Be good; Do good.” I followed it for many years without much thought towards it. Recently enough I have learnt that it’s almost the opposite that is right. The right thing is,”Be selfless, earn a shoe; Be selfish, earn a hat.” No person taught me this. Its life which taught me this and I am certain that life is more superior to my granny.

I have listened to my granny for years and I have been good to an extent that I sometimes cared less for myself and more for others. That is being selfless and all I earned is a shoe. Now I know what I have to do.

People say that God wants you to be good. I say that He gave us intelligence to take care of ourselves first. If we have any resource left after that, then we have to help others. I also learnt in my ALMA MATER that- You are more important than anything or anyone in your life. First take care of yourself and then focus on anything or anyone in your life.

Let’s learn it the easy way, otherwise life will teach us the hard way. I have learnt my lesson from life and believe me, it’s not a sweet experience. If we can’t give importance to ourselves, how will anyone else give us importance? Remember this, “ I first, U next.”

Life is tough; I am tougher

If life gives a problem, find the solution.

If life asks a question, answer it.

If life is a war, fight it.

If life is horrible, improve it.


It’s just the way you take it. If you have a problem, take it in the stride. Not possible? Take a jump. It’s simple. We all know it but we don’t do it. Why??? Is my question. Don’t we have what it takes? We do. We just don’t know how to tap it. Just figure it out and you have figured life out.

I will just take my own example because I don’t know anybody else’s life as well as my own. As a child, I lost my right thumb in an accident at the age of 3. I could have given reasons not to write but I didn’t do that. I could have learnt to write with my left but I feel that’s a way to just bi-pass the problem. I had a 3rd choice to write with my right hand in spite of what had happened. I appreciate my parents who have taught me to face life as it comes and not bi-pass the problems. Thank you MAMA, thank you PAPA.

As I grew up a little more, I developed allergy-bronchitisis(wheeze), a breathing problem. I wasn’t supposed to consume anything cold. Think how much a child would love ice-cream. When I used to go out, I would see other kids enjoying cone ice-creams. I would ask my dad for a cone biscuit without the ice-cream. I used to satisfy myself with it. At the age of 16 years, my doctor told me that regular swimming could relieve me of the problem. I started swimming and never missed a single day in 2 whole years. Every day, the first thing in the morning I used to swim. It’s been 4 years now and I haven’t had the need for my inhaler. It’s a great sign. The problem is gone.

Next at the age of 20, I had other health problems. I faced that too with spirit.

Come on life, I challenge you to a fight. The day I give up, you win. The day you give up giving me problems, I win. LET’S SEE WHO WINS.

Value Creation / Addition

Today, to gain respect, you need to create your own value. The value that your parents or family create for you is not your value but their value (monetary value). You have to create your own value. If you are a professional or employed or you start your own business, then what you earn is your value, not what your potential to earn is. So create your own value as soon as possible.

If you have earned Rs.x, then your value is Rs.x

If you join your family business, then it is a little more complicated.

If your father used to earn Rs.x before u joined business, and the business now earns 1.2x after you joined the family business, then your earning is 0.1x. The remaining increase is your father’s growth.

In figures –

Earning of the company before you joined = x

Earning of the company after you joined = y

No of partners = 2

Increased earnings = (y – x) = 0.2x

Your value = (y – x)/2

Calculate your value and aim to become more valuable.

Most parents don’t want their children to think in this manner because they love them. But as children, we need to create our own value. That is when they will be proud of us. My inspiration to think in this manner is a friend of mine who is planning to repay his dad, the amount his dad has spent on my friend’s education.

If you are young and you get pocket money from your dad, then its not for you to spend it on your friends but on yourself. Spend it wisely or even better save it or even better invest it and multiply it so you have something to start off with when you want to create your value.

Most times, the world ignores your value; the value you created for yourself but when you judge someone else, don’t do the same mistake. Judge them on their value, not on the value they have inherited or their potential value. The reason being – inherited value is actually not his/hers and potential value is still not completely certain. Example – A person who has completed his masters has a potential of earning a high income but he still hasn’t earned it. It is still not completely certain. He may not get a nice/satisfactory job, he might not get a job at all or any other catastrophe might strike.